I SAW SUEDE AND LIVED TO TELL THE TALE, I THINK.

i needed something to break it up and they get better if you read it promise this is how this thing works

i needed something to break it up and they get better if you read it promise this is how this thing happens

So i wrote me old sensible review for h&h (up soon, #journalism) but i couldnt say things like “brett anderson was lying on my face and it was awesome” in that and to get the full experience of the best gig i have ever been to (I’m genuinely not just saying that, blew the killers – or anyone else for that matter- out the water and back to vegas) you need to know all the ins and outs am i right?

Anyway this was the first time i’d proper queued for a gig (half 5 or so for brandon flowers doesn’t quite cut it, i didnt even get barrier after that either) and i was planning to get there early but tubes and trains effectively destroyed that so it was about 2, but nonetheless it was snowing so i consider myself pretty hardcore as of now, but the security being THE NICEST SECURITY EVER (bar the man that coordinated the entering/sprint he was awful) gave us queue number wristbands (that may or may not still be on my wrist)  and sent us into the bar for an hour of warmth, it was very warm, nice warmth, the nachos were good ‘n all. Then after being submerged to more cold and getting to the point where i was mentally convinced i was going to get pneumonia and die and that would be the end of it, everybody stood up – the power of one person meaning everyone else thought something was happening – and gradually barriers were placed and the door time was edging nearer.

At which point prepare yourselves because this was serially fucking wrong there were 2 rows assembled next to us, assumedly for people to snake round, but no. they made them 2 seperate queues and told people to get into them aas they’d all be opened at the same time, meaning of course, everyone who’d been there half an hour got in at the same time as one person i salute entirely who’d been there since 2am, there were grumbles, the security bloke was awful about it and pacts were made to run and not look back. The doors were opened, said security man was acting like gods gift and threatening to shut them again if we ran, i have never sprinted so fast in my life and by clever googling the night before, i ran to the opposite door of everyone else thus closer to the barrier and killed the next few metres for poll position conveniently infront of the stages makeshift steps (more about that later) and the power two of mat osman/neil codling (conspiracies of botox, jesus and all) . If there was a barrier at the end of athletics, i’d’ve been incredible, i swear to you.

(I nabbed this off Ally Pally's facebook cause) if you look close enough you can see me giving the security man that did this to us my best look of utter distaste.....

(I nabbed this off Ally Pally’s facebook cause) if you look close enough you can seE me giving the security man that did this to us my best look of utter distaste…..

 

MY PARAGRAPH ABOUT TEMPLES APPEARS TO HAVE DISAPPEARED AND I COMPLETELY FORGOT WHAT I WROTE SO HERE IS THE H&H SENTENCE UNTIL I FIND WHERE I MISPLACED IT

“First up were neo-psych quartet, Temples. They radiate 60s from every inch of their tassel-sleeved shirts and have a sound somewhere between The Beatles and Tame Impala – certainly enough to open the ears of every person in the crowd” – DO YOU FEEL ENLIGHTENED NOW? i had so much more to say i will find it i will

Then Spector came on, last time i saw them they were overshadowed by the support act of course, so i was very eager to see how they’d play up as a support act, we all know what Fred’s like. Obviously, they didnt care where they were on the bill, he came onstage, coughed and took a selfie before thundering into Enjoy It While It Last’s finest and making some admirable puns “the band weren’t sure about us being the support at first, but they were easily swayed” that didn’t go down all too well at first, but after some Celestine goodness and an anecdote about Burman’s failed attempt at Obsessions video fame, everyone seemed to have been won over so they crashed into some more songs – Fred’s definitely been taking dance/style lessons from Mr Bruce these days – and left us suitably warmed up on the note of “happy easter, enjoy the ressurection of our lord….Brett Anderson” – everyone cheered. I do have to mention though, that as lovely as Jed is, somebody forgot to switch the HPF on his synths, so much bass shook us to bits and made everything else pretty much undistinguishable – I also thought everyone was staring because of his nice shirt but later discovered Banderson himself was stood right by him watching, oh.

Speaking of which, after much waiting and sounchecking and such, the mammoth stage was unveiled via digital curtains and some amazing backdrops, Suede jumped into Barriers and the crowd descended instantly from reserved polite nodding types to “that’s fucking brett anderson that is and he’s only a few metres away i need to grab him” and dancing a lot, it was for the best. They played a couple more Bloodsports types before going all out on the power three Animal Nitrate, Metal Mickey & We Are The Pigs, naturally – and within five songs I have never seen more energy than that of Brett, Jarvis Cocker is not the best dancer of the 90s, you heard it here first.  Then they did Sleeping Pills which was completely unexpected,after the whole “it was twenty years yesterday since the debut”, the image of mat osman begging the tech guy to turn up the wind machine (yes they had fucking wind machines, there was a movie being filmed after all) out of my mind ever – as far as I can remember he did not say gosh, unlike what the telegraph said, they also said the album was called Bloodlines, can’t get the writers these days can you smh.

After that they did Sometimes I Feel I’ll Float Away which has grown on me in the past week or so since banquet and become one of my favourites so that was lovely and I can confirm the pause was most definitely purposeful, because they did it again, it was a nice silence and a nicer song. Then they descended into more brilliance, Hit MeFilmstar and such, top heel clicking dancing and diving into the grabbing hands from brett too, this was where being near the steps came in er well “handy” as everytime he came down, he stood and leant right over us, I cannot say anything bad about that I had my fair share of 90s icon that evening. Killing Of A Flashboy too made an appearance, as soon as the backdrop appeared I have never been so relieved in my life, it’s undoubtedly one of their best songs and I know they play it at every gig they do but it’s a B side so you’re never too sure, but they did and by the end Banderson was back leaning again before taking a novel barrier approach and causing the highlight of the evening. It appeared we had the best spot and even he agreed, as he decided to sit on the barrier in front of us singing The Wild Ones whilst falling backwards onto my face and submerging us under a sea of hands and exceedingly long britpop-py limbs, at one point i was caught in a headlock i’m not even joking i reckon that makes us pretty good buds now not many people can say that and i will take pride in being drenched in such stuff forever.  There were many film cameras in my face at said point, if this dvd ever emerges (it better) i apologise in advance.

you'll have to read it all to find the good ones that's just how life works

you’ll have to read it all to find the good ones that’s just how life works

After the sufficient christening, as we called it, they were back on the stage playing Pantomime Horse, i’d been listening to it on the train and it hadn’t even crossed my mind they’d play it, at which point i decided it was the most perfect night of my life, Neil Codling smiled for gods sake – that’s even rarer than anything I can think of right now – even rarer than me thinking of anything rarer than Neil Codling smiling, you’ve got to love Neil.

The Drowners and Can’t Get Enough (complete with more Codling woohoo goodness) followed suit, upping the tempo to mental again and crowd singalongs were back in full flow after the thousands of “SING IT…LOUDER” prompts – I really was not expecting him to get that into it y’know I really wasnt but he did he was strutting around doing the whole come on thing and it was ace i have never seen anyone more sassy in real life – hands down the best frontman hands down

then Everything Will Flow obviously, at which point i’m sure Richard did the widest grin known to man i have never seen a bigger smile, and it was another good singalong type that seemed to last hours – i felt like i had no mind left by this point and i feel i am reflecting that well in the shambolic excuse for writing you are experiencing right now. Things were woken up again in fine melancholic style by For The Strangers the absolute best off Bloodsports and just even more incredible live trust me, and then So Young and Trash both complete with “WHAT ARE WE?” types and more encougagement to sing louder than i ever have before and grab more britpop stuff, how could we not?

Finally it was “have we got time for one more? there’s always time for one more, you should know the words, if you don’t you shouldn’t really be here, you’ll know the words” and Beautiful Ones was crashed into in spectacular style and all of a sudden they’d gone (after aforementioned rare sight of Codling smiling) and for the life of me I could not think of another song they might play, however there was an encore in no time with Sabotage – such a dramaticly brilliant suede-y song, “thy will be done” and all that, it fitted with the easter theme, or as Fred had put it that of the real lord anyway. Then penultimately and inevitably, Saturday Night – “we had to” – which everyone in the queue previously had been dreading and saying the fact it was indeed a saturday night was just not a good enough excuse, but I have no issues and think it’s quite a grand song so it was rather nice if you ask me. Finally, New Generation was played for good “just to make sure Suede have definitely destroyed your life this evening” measure and they bounced offstage. After being eternally hassled by bleeding security a drumstick and pick were acquired thanks to my insanely awesome gig buddies for the night and in no time at all I found myself on another train, this time to join my family on holiday at my grandparents as ‘the condemned grandchild who chose Suede over jesus’

All britpop adventures end on long trains back to reality and all I’ve done in the past three days is wish they’d announce another gig so I can do it all again, and when it comes to Brett Anderson vs a hypothetical God we seem to only use for chocolate rabbits, I made the right choice for sure.

IF YOU READ THIS I SALUTE YOU ITS ALMOST FOUR TIMES THE SENSIBLE REVIEW I WROTE BUT AT LEAST ELEVEN TIMES BETTER OF GIVING YOU THE FULL EXPERIENCE, MY ONLY ADVICE TO YOU IS GO AND SEE SUEDE, I DONT WANT TO GO TO ANY MORE GIGS ANYMORE OR DO ANYTHING WITH MY LIFE BUT THAT, THIS WAS HANDS DOWN THE BEST GIG I HAVE EVER ATTENDED AND NOTHING WILL EVER COME CLOSE TO THAT, HOW IT DIDNT EVEN SELL OUT WAS A MYSTERY (IT MIGHT’VE EVENTUALLY BUT IT HADNT AS OF DOORS OKAY THATS MENTAL) I DONT KNOW WHAT  TO DO ANYMORE ALL I HAVE IS THOUGHT ABOUT SUEDE AND HOW MUCH I NEED TO SEE THEM AGAIN SO ENJOY, THEY’RE REALLY WORTH IT.

Now here’s a beautiful photo montage made my yours truly of my best awful pictures all night, there is your reward for being such tolerant people, much love.

rsz_brettpics

on a side note i am going to see Enter Shikari thursday, if it were not in my hometown i probably wouldn;t be bothered any longer but most of my family are and it would be a shame not to you know, but expect a cynical review of that after this one because my thoughts are currently sort of “do i really have to see enter shikari they wont be as good as suede and they’ll be more uncessary gig info that’ll cause me to forget more suede stuff which i do not want to do and whats the point if they are not as good as suede eh”

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