Some Hero: Alex James.

~Ooh, a new Some Hero post, it only took several months to follow up RS, aren’t you lot lucky? ~

This one was always gonna take a helluva justification but after reading a poorly written, badly spelt article with a complete disregard for grammar entitled “Why Cheese And Alex James Are Rubbish” (this was page ten of Google too) late last (this fraction was written in March, i still feel the sadness) night and dismissing every single reason – i got a bass & decided to be in a band because of this man, you have to realise – i think the time is now.


I never understood or will fully understand why the man in question appears to be the easiest target on earth for being a middle class twat and liking McDonalds because I will probably end up both these things and nobody seems to care about that – I also play bass, might I add, but anyway he actually seems quite a great bloke and probably the person to ‘ve had the biggest effect on me anyhow so it seemed necessary.

(also before we continue cheese is not rubbish. it’s one of the pinnacles of life i’ll have you know. melt it on crumpets with apple & golden syrup and you’re onto a winner – what i said about middle class twat, that)

First off the musical bit has to be addressed because whether you like it or not Alex James is quite a genius at that bit. If you want any proof that he is a fab bassist watch/listen to this because i’d never myself quite noticed the extent of it til i heard this version of this track

Painstaking hours of my life taken to learn this and I still can’t get it right, if that’s not brilliance I don’t know what is. Also it’s very very understated, that’s not a bassline, it’s a melody in its own right, but if anyone had not pointed this out, I would still be clueless to it. As with quite a lot of bassy stuff from the hands of Mr Cheese, the more you know, the more substance you suddenly realise is there.

Other than that Girls & Boys was probably (definitely) the best song of the 90s and you cant fault the bass of that however much you try – the video was “all my idea” apparently too, make of that what you will.

In addition to the Blur bass escapades, and those in that band of Bernard Sumner that everyone ignored but were actually quite good, this man has been quite top notch when it comes to some other very good songs – and Fat Les, you can’t knock them though, that was one of the most incredibly well executed, and probably only, successful football pop tracks out there and let’s face it, you still can’t bloody escape the track – Jerusalem wasn’t half shabby either.

Glastonbury Festival, Somerset, Britain - Jun 2009

flawless hair flicks. f l a w l e s s .

Beer bellies aside though, he wrote and produced for Sophie Elis Bextor a lOT, I have no fear in saying that kind of music was key in my earlier years (last week) and its fine pop music whether you like it or not – equally the same with Marrianne Faithful and Florence + The Machine,  if you look really closely you can even see him dressed as a woman playing a double bass in her video – there’s another thing, any excuse to wear a skirt and the man grabs it, with added lipstick.

At this point I was referring to wikipedia and found this complete gem, thought you might appreciate it.


All in all he’s a pretty smart bloke (well musically anyway) and cries a lot about it then says stuff like this, it’s spot on.

 “Music is the highest form of anything. Music is a fundamental quality of the universe. Films are not fundamental entities, nor are paintings, or sculptures. They represent things and have functions. Music actually is something. Music is omniscient, a quality that echoes across space and time: from the concord and balance of galactic superclusters down to the vibrating ten dimensional filaments of superstring theory. The entire cosmos is a musical situation and all artistic and scientific endevours tend towards music. All life aspires to the state of music. Music is a mystery, pure abstraction, calling from deep to deep. Voices raised in song are louder when you’re in love, when you’re happy, when you’re sad. Music can make hearts beat faster and cause tears to flow. Melody is a universal language. Harmony is the resting place of consciousness. Rhythm hammers the mind into the right shape.”

Music put down (..yeah, right..) CHEESE




No, in all seriousness, anyone that can have a passion for cheese genuinely not caring what anyone thinks and still not be a mudane old woman deserves all your respect, honest. And more to the point, if you ever got the opportunity to try some of the finest Alex James stuff, you’d know it’s pretty damn good – I’m biased because I too adore the stuff but I am 102% sure I am allergic to goats cheese and his still tasted incredible, though that’s probably for the best because I don’t know how well a reaction would’ve gone down in front of the maker himself.

It was good enough to me to spend serious money (£8.99) on it, despite being taken aback at how nice it actually was – I had my doubts too, then decided to miss my train home in favour of hunting high & low in town for cranberry sauce (we gave up and spent the original £4 in M&S in the end, bloody rip off) and crackers – a feat that only improved the foodie delights. He also signed it. Normal people sign pictures of themselves, Alex James signs his cheese – tell me that’s not cool, go on, I dare ya.

And even further than cheese, stars. The man is open about his ambition to live on Mars and deadly serious, which is quite bold for anyone – even if we all agree – and is too very clever about that one, remember Beagle 2……well, at least we tried….i am starting a genuine cox/james concept stargazing live spin off show campaign….the proof’s in his highly well written and at points life changing book, the 300 pages that caused the ball to start rolling on this one.

And when you cant get any higher than stars you turn to reality TV gameshows, obviously. Maybe not a great feature but trust me when I say, he was actually fab on Popstar to Operastar, even better on that conductor show and he was on Pointless the other week, you cant object to a room with both Richard Osman & Alex James ever…..

He also makes great movies as seen below best thing you will see all week, even if you still hate him, trust me

I am fast rambling utter nonsense and it’s taken 5 seperate occassions of typing over 4 months to type such rubbish that I have given up on making it anymore senseworthy but I think my point has been made in the entirely usual roundabout way, as with the RS article, hero is an awful word but  bass’ were purchased and bands remain in need of formation….as with excessive cheese consumption, stargazing and an attempt in producing here and there (the most) so i guess it must work. Anyway the point is Alex James is pretty damn awesome and nobody seems to realize this in favour of ponce bashing so someone had to say something, besides, he’s a top ponce and completely worth it.

Oh and just before i stop, the pictures, if you’re ever feeling sad just google image search, those 2 words are an effective solution to life’s problems essentially more so than alcohol, previews below:


If you’re feeling really daring, you can even add “cheese” to the mix….

I think we are done here.